To start this off, I had full intention of simply playing a game of M.A.S.H. using random generators. I did that, and I’m “proud” of the outcome, but, like the spiral in the center of M.A.S.H., my journey was not linear by any means.

I began by drawing this template for you, dear reader, to play along: mashtemplate

Then I drew my spiral. mashspiralYou might remember that the spiral is where the counting digit comes from. With my eyes toward the heavens, I circled a pen round and round, then counted the spaces on either side of every line. I came up with the number 11. It should be noted that I thought a lot about using the random number generator at my favorite RNG: https://www.random.org/, but I opted for a more tradition start to the game. Let’s also just take a minute to make sure everyone knows what M.A.S.H. stands for: mansion, apartment, shack, or house. We can all agree that this is the go-to method of fortune telling among 8-12 year olds.

To come up with the criteria, I used traditional M.A.S.H. guidelines mixed with common
desired life qualities. I settled on place to live, vehic
le, name and occupation of husband, and number of offspring. Using http://www.seventhsanctum.com/index.php I filled in the blanks of
my future.

With place names like Realm of the
Noble Suns and Land of the Blades, I
knew my future definitely included a big move. I have only lived in one state up to this point. Fear of failure and lack of perceived resources kept me frozen in place. Then I got a dog. I just never imagined being able to leave my city. Faced with the possibilities, I started imagining landscapes and peoples. I thought of world travelers I knew and how I would finally be able to go somewhere none of them had gone before. I felt pretty positive about the timing of this move since I’m currently facing a career change and the recent loss of my dog.

I thought of the names and occupations of my suitors. I imagined them constantly decked outmashdoodle in some sort of armor or mystic hooded robe. They would be aloof, but protective and spend tense moments just longing to be back in my arms. If I am to spend the rest of my days with the Infamous Silver Gambler, Tiger Zealotfinder, I sure hope we settle in the Jackpot Realm. I hope we are happy and that our kids are well-cared for, have the finest leather sandals, and go to the best secular or military boarding schools in all the land.

The vehicle names all sound a bit futuristic, but maybe I’d need something advance to speed through the Large Lost Land? Eventually it didn’t matter where I was or what I drove/sailed/flew, as long as we were all together and happy. Truthfully, I have never even wanted children, let alone seven. Just as in real life, everything is just RNG.

Back to maths, I needed a way to work in the RNG from https://www.random.org/ so I used this site to generate the amount of offspring I would have. I chose a realistic amount of zero to ten children. I tried it with more, but 93 kids sounds too silly, even for the biggest fantasy (even with Lance).completedmash

Now all that was left to do was start counting to decide my fate. I went clockwise and started at the “M” in M.A.S.H. mashhusband


One by one, the events of my life unfolded. FIrst I learned I would live in a shack and drive a Boltgate. I hope that Boltgate has space for 7 car seats because Lance and I will be expecting soon. Lance Ravenchild, the Great Conjurer, and I plan on settling down in the Jackpot Realm and raising our brood with the all important skills of conjuring and content writing.



The game is over but something unexpected blossomed from this… I’m sort of obsessed with the concept of randomness. I read psychology articles on the randomness of love, definitions of a variety of different kinds of randoms, and more about pattern recognition. More should be discussed on randomness vs. chance and I sense a graph coming soon.

For now, I would like to leave everyone with this artcle about the Michael Larson Incident http://www.rotten.com/library/conspiracy/press-your-luck/.